MYkind: an open letter.

Dear readers, friends and lovers:

My father-in-law passed away yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning. For those of you who know me well, you’ll know that my husband and I moved from Los Angeles to the midwest to be closer to our families. For the past almost-three years, we’ve been living with our inlaws, renovating a home and doing our best to take care of my dear Papa Bill.

You guys, I can’t even begin to explain what a stand-up man my father-in-law was. His loss will be devastating, and I know I’ll need some time to grieve, comfort and care for myself and my husband’s family. Although this is hard to type, I need you to know something:

You all have been my crutch in this, whether you realize or not. Watching a loved one become helpless is one of the heaviest experiences of life, and being able to fill my head space with positivity, inspiration and visuals daily has created a balance that I know has carried me through this time.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t add that there is a grander design at work here. I rarely talk about religion here, but I suppose Bill’s death has opened my eyes to a larger design — that of the human spirit, perfect timing and a bigger universe where we’re all connected.

And for me, that is the ultimate design for mankind.

Thank you for your support. I’ll be checking in here periodically this week and will return Monday.

Love to you all.

  • It is clear from this post how much you loved him. I’m sure he appreciated every day he had with you and your husband. My husband and I had a similar experience…moved from Seattle to eastern colorado in 2003 to build our dream home on 35 acres. And while we’ve since returned to Seattle (moved back in 2006 with our young daughters), we had the fortune of spending quality time with two dear relatives in failing health. I’m incredibly grateful for those few years and I hear they were too. Please take care of yourself. You are an amazing person. xo

  • I’m so sorry erin. you have such a good heart and I’m sure it is/was so good for your inlaws to have you near. I love this quote and maybe it will offer some peace:

    Death is not putting out the light. It is extinguishing the lamp because the dawn has come. -Tagore

  • I just wanted to express how sorry I am for your loss… I am thinking of you, your husband and his family.

  • oh erin, i’m so sorry for your loss. your writing clearly shows how deeply you & your family cared for your father-in-law.

    your positive energy & kind spirit will undoubtedly help your family through this time.

    while i’m sure you have plenty of people to talk to, i have an open ear if you ever want to talk.

  • I am so sorry to hear about your loss, Erin… thinking of you and your family… and sending you a big hug and love… xoxo Hijiri

  • oh erin, am so sorry to hear this. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you grieve this loss. love.

  • teribbly sorry for your loss Erin. I LOVE your spirit and filling our lives with positivity even though you are going through this very difficult time.
    Thoughts are with you hun
    xo

  • Erin: What an amazing man he must have been to raise that husband of yours. Just think… you have a part of him in your life everyday – that’s pretty special. xoxo

  • Oh Erin, I’m so sorry hear about your father-in-law. My thoughts are with you and Ken and your family. Sending as much good energy as a girl can muster your way! Love you to bits. xo

  • jumping in to thank you so much for the outpouring of support you all have shown me. you are such a supportive community and i am SO blessed to be a small part of that.

    thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • just as you were lucky to call him your father-in-law, he was lucky to call you his daughter-in-law. soak up all the family time you can this week. your family is in my thoughts! xoxo

  • Erin, I’m so sorry for your and your husband’s loss. I hope all the positive energy that you have sent out to all of us comes back to you as comfort and strength to get through this difficult period.

  • My sincere condolences for you, you husband and your family and friends, from the other side of the globe. What a strange sensation to feel so touched by your words and your experience. How you will keep on to be warmed, inspired and touched by your friends on the web. I wish you strength for now and for missing you dear father-in-law in the future.

  • Hi Erin. Jess fills me in here and there about you and your husband. You two are really amazing people. I’m very sorry for your loss.

    -AQ

  • I’m sorry for your loss. I haven’t been here very long, but you have always seemed to me like a positive and light-seeking person. I know you, Ken and your family will come through on the other side. Take the time you need, we’ll be here. We’re all thinking of you and wishing you brighter days ahead.

    Hearts.

  • oh erin… i’m so very sorry that you and your husband have to go through such a tough time. you’re definitely in my thoughts.

  • I’ll be sending thoughts of healing your way Erin.
    “Life has to end, love doesn’t” – Mitch Albom

  • Erin, I am so sorry, love. You are so strong. I’m here for you if you need anything. Kisses to you an your family.

  • Oh, Sweetie—I am so sorry to hear the news. I too lost someone close to me recently. I’m sending you all sorts of crazy love and warm thoughts right now, to you and the family. xox

  • So sorry for your family’s loss, Erin. My boyfriend’s dearest grandfather, who was an incredibly honorable, caring and funny man and taught my boyfriend all he knows, passed away yesterday as well. A grandparent is one thing, but a parent is entirely another. Sending you all strength and love at this time. <3

  • Oh Erin, I’m heartbroken for you and your family. Your words and thoughts are so lovely and I hope you can feel the love and support and prayers beaming your way. xo

  • Erin, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

    My husband and I moved back to the Midwest from California when my dad’s cancer resurfaced. I couldn’t stand being that far away knowing my parents could use our help. To this day it was one of the best decisions I ever made no matter how hard it was to see him slip away. He will be gone three years this August.

  • A really big hug over the web from me to you and your husband and his family. Sadly I and too many others know first hand how painful it is to watch someone you love dearly slowly pass from this world. I hope that with time your loving memories will help all of you cope with your grief. Love to you.
    Jennifer

  • I’m so sorry for your loss, Erin. I know that this is the worst feeling in the world, and Joel and I are sending you love, prayers, and good vibes. <3

  • I’m so sorry for your loss. Death of a loved one is really hard. Please take care. My thoughts are with you and your family Erin.

  • Erin, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I’m sending lots of love and good wishes to you and your family. Your father-in-law sounds like an amazing person. I was really moved by what you said about there being a larger design for things–I couldn’t agree with you more!

  • This is the first time I’ve posted to your comments. I was so touched by your words conveying what has happened and how you feel – that I just wanted to say ‘Thank you’. We all struggle to put feelings into words – you seem to find the words for us.

    Take care of you and your family.

  • The death of a parent is especially difficult for it dramatically changes one’s perception of the world and its relationship to one’s self. My prayers are with you and your husband. Your father-in-law was a most fortunate man to have your love and care – your belief in him – as he took the “next step”.

  • Erin you are the sunshine in our inbox – and its sad to hear there is rain. Virtual hugs to you from Australia

    x

  • I know that you and Ken are holding each other close. It is such a comfort to share these difficult times with your soul mate & family. My dad passed suddenly just months after my honey and I moved to NYC. Two years ago we lost my mom after many years of cancer… either way it is devastating to lose our parents. Although they no longer inhabit an earthly form, my mother and father continue to guide my life and I feel their love. The love never dies.

    R.I.P. Papa Bill.

  • Erin, thank you for sharing. So sorry to hear about your loss. I’m praying that the day ahead bring healing to your family.

  • we’re all connected – that’s so true – thanks for all that you share with us.
    xo from paris

  • Erin,
    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have lost all 4 of my parents (step parents included) and it is a very difficult passage of life. I know you and your husband will gain strength and comfort from each other knowing there are many, many people in the blog world feeling your pain and sending good vibes your way.

    diane

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