• the able scarf dinner party fashionable nashville 6

    the able scarf dinner party fashionable nashville 6

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    The Expectation Dance

    10.03.2014 / LIFE

    the able scarf dinner party fashionable nashville 6

    So. I’m just going to jump right into this one, deal? I hear a lot of encouragement for today’s women to lower the expectations. We blame Pinterest and glossy inspirational blogs for setting an impossible standard and we preach for “normalcy” – for an everyday status quo that offers attainability for the masses (whatever the masses look like from where we’re sitting, of course).

    But ladies, I don’t think the answer is to lower the expectations. I don’t think the goal should be to throw in the towel, snap photos of our messes and call it authenticity. (You already know how I feel about that.) I don’t want to encourage lesser versions of ourselves, just as much as I don’t want to encourage perfect, Stepfordized shells of ourselves. The why is always more important than the what.

    So what if – instead of lowering the expectations – we shifted them? What if – instead of focusing on the outward actions or decisions or standards – we focused on our hearts?

    Deliver the homemade, organic, free-range, gluten-free paleo braised chicken if it means you are loving your neighbor.
    Drop off KFC if it means you are loving your neighbor.

    Run a marathon if it means you are honoring your mother.
    Sit on the couch and watch Lifetime if it means you are honoring your mother.

    Send your kids to public school if it means you are providing for your family.
    Homeschool your kids if it means you are providing for your family.

    Organize your home if it means you are using your talents.
    Make a mess if it means you are using your talents.

    Create a beautifully crafted tablescape if it brings joy to your home.
    Eat from paper plates and plastic flatware if it brings joy to your home.

    Ladies, it’s time we stop apologizing for our whats and start embracing our whys. It’s time we stop lowering the bar – this expected standard of universal acceptance – and instead, raise our hearts and our minds and our souls. It’s time we stop playing Limbo with one another – how low can you go? – and start getting to work on our backbends. On our grace and flexibility and wisdom and perspective.

    Let’s turn up the music and kick the Limbo bar to the corner. It’s time we danced.

    Image Credit: Luke Chesser

    • I recently stumbled across your blog and just want to thank you for authentically and gracefully sharing your heart with the blog world.

    • Beautiful, inspiring, necessary words. Thank you for the perfect send off into the weekend!

    • Beautiful, inspiring, necessary words. Thank you for the perfect send off to the weekend.

      • Thank you, Sarah Ann! I so appreciate the encouragement. :)

    • Tasneem

      You shared your thoughts at the perfect time (for me). I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately with all these projects I want to complete but feeling restricted by time and my health. Thank you!

      • Ah, I’m so sorry to hear that – take good care of yourself, Tasneem!

    • I also just found your blog recently, and I love this! Thank you for expressing this so beautifully.

    • AMEN. You had me at the beginning, but stole my heart with grace and flexibility and wisdom and perspective.

    • Karen

      This is wonderful! I think it perfectly captures this struggle that we all deal with on a regular basis, and is such a better solution than going to either extreme. The “why” should definitely be the focus!

      • I so, so, so agree (obviously, ha!). :) Thanks, Karen!

    • Amen! So very well written. I love how you can capture what many are thinking and spell it out so eloquently. Gracias!!

      • Thank you, Jenn – I so appreciate the encouragement!

    • Holy. That was amazing.

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