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    It Does Exactly What It Says On The Erin Loechner

    01.29.2014 / LIFE


    I’ve used up all of my words lately in my inbox, because January produced quite a flurry of emails. (Slow down, productive people! I can’t keep up!) And then it produced a snow storm in my actual town. And then in my inbox and again in my town and now I’m trying to shovel but it’s just all too big so I’m going to sit down and eat chili and wait for it to melt on its own. Emails melt, right? Of course they do.

    Worth noting: this post title holds zero meaning, except that this morning I received an email pitch with the subject line “It Does Exactly What It Says On The [Brand’s Name]” and I realized that is the perfect sentence to say if you want to say nothing at all. And that is what I want to say: nothing at all.

    Anyway, my e-friend Pip does this fun check-in with herself to mark the days/moods/seasons, and it just seemed so fitting and also so very Web 1.0 where my high school friends and I would send weird surveys to each other on Hotmail and sign things like BFFAEAEAE (Best friends forever and ever and ever and ever, for those of you who didn’t grow up in my generation or in southern Indiana). Anyway.

    Here’s my list of everything that’s happening right now, and you should absolutely make one because I can’t think of a better way to mark today, you know? Go.

    Making: myself go to yoga every day. It’s been terribly good for my pent-up energy level but terribly bad for my laziness merit badge progress.
    Cooking: anything in a crock pot. All the time. I can’t keep that thing empty: chili, stew, roast, chicken, you know. There are chicken “wings” in the thing right now (parenthesis because they are cutlets because why would you willingly buy wings when you could just do chicken cutlets and then not at all have to work your food off the bone, or is that just me being lazy again?).
    Drinking: red wine, and a lot of it. Because it’s snowing all the time. Also, coffee (the usual) and I’ve been on a hot tea kick because we’ve been entertaining a lot of families recently and it’s funner to say “Hot tea?” than it is pretty much anything else ever. Also water, always.
    Reading: Dr. Seuss, Jen Hatmaker, Diane Keaton, Eric Carle, Dave Pell’s app, adoption paperwork.
    Wanting: to clean out my closet and dress in monochrome only. It’s a matter of time.
    Looking: out the window and there is more snow, which is rude.
    Playing: Hide & Seek with Bee near-daily, which feels so grown-up that I have a daughter who is old enough to play this game.
    Wasting: too much produce because our produce delivery keeps sending eight syllable vegetables that look like gremlins. Cannot compute how they are possibly edible.
    Sewing: oats? This is a trick question, because it’s almost like you’ve never met me. I sew never.
    Wishing: I didn’t have the Cailou theme song stuck in my head.
    Enjoying: this season. It’s a rich one, with equal parts inspired work and playtime with Bee.
    Waiting: to finish our adoption paperwork. Hand cramps, hand cramps.
    Liking: rare movie date nights, even when I think we’ve ended up in the wrong theater and halfway through cannot understand why American Hustle isn’t Dallas Buyers Club and where is Matthew McConaughey?
    Wondering: when Dallas Buyers Club comes out.
    Loving: Ken Loechner. That man is ridiculous rad.
    Needing: to pee, but I’m pretty determined to finish this list first.
    Smelling: like Mimosa from Commodity, which is a perfume everyone should say yes to.
    Wearing: my giant coat and boots, for aforementioned snow reasons and because my blood runs cold.
    Following: this project because these two boys are doing rad things and they’re sweet friends.
    Noticing: that the old(ish) man in the coffee shop next to me has toilet paper on his shoe, and should I tell him? Is that a weird thing for men? I don’t even understand why it’s a weird thing for women, actually, because it’s not like it’s used. Or wait, how would you know? Is that why it’s weird?
    Knowing: so many more things since I started reading the news this year. Must keep this up!
    Thinking: too much, per usual.
    Feeling: hungry and kind of achy, courtesy of yoga.
    Bookmarking: this site, but it’s because I’m biased and I love these girls.
    Opening: emails and then re-marking them as unread because it feels like I’m semi-organized and also weirdly making progress.
    Giggling: at the old(ish) man with the toilet paper on this shoe. (I haven’t said anything to him yet, but I’m going to. Don’t worry.)*

    p.s. *Told him! He said it’s just as weird for men as it is for women, and why wouldn’t it be? And then he invited me into his conversation which was a 100% complete and legitimate discussion about whether or not Janet Jackson was really Michael Jackson all along. I happened to give a speech about this in college and am surprisingly well-versed in this topic, so clearly there is a God and His timing is perfection.

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