I haven’t been writing things down. There are so many things I want to write, so many thoughts I’m trying to catch in the kitchen while the potatoes brown, so many ideas that come while I’m rocking the baby. They come and they leave, and I’m left standing in the kitchen as the skillet begins to smoke, wondering why my head feels emptied.
I know I won’t remember much about this busy, full season of diapers and balance bikes. I’ll remember the parts I wrote down, and the rest will be gone with the skillet smoke.
I’m learning that this is OK, that it’s good. That we can’t capsule our seasons and lives into pill form for later digesting. Memories, like pills, can heal. But sometimes they hurt going down.
Mostly, I just miss writing.
—
Our 2016 Christmas break in liner notes, then:
-Mulled wine from red solo cups
-Surprise caroling on a friend’s farm, white candles for Silent Night
-Wrapping tiny googly eyes for a toddler
-Lifetime Christmas movies and coconut oil popcorn
-A frenzied grocery run on Christmas Eve Eve, a last-minute Starbucks gift card for the upbeat cashier, a reminder that small acts of kindness bring big waves of happiness
-Sparkly lotions for nieces
-Saltines and 7Up for a New Years Eve flu
-Forgetting the words to A Little Town of Bethlehem, smiling when the nursing home residents love it all the same
-Bee visiting Santa’s house, the gift of a miniature Mr. Goodbar, the offering of her favorite goldfish in return, “for the reindeers, you know.”
-Plastic toy trains under dining room tables
-Smoked gouda for lunch
-Twinkly lights hanging in my mother-in-law’s garage
-Old puzzles with missing pieces
-A snowman ornament made from a tiny handprint and a loving Grandma
-Parsnip hash browns for breakfast, candied pecans for breakfast dessert
-Nerf wars in melting snow
Wishing you and yours a fresh start this year, smoked gouda and all.
You are my new favourite place on the internet…just as i’m intentionally spending less and less time on the internet. Thank you. Huge bow to your beautiful, thoughtful writing, guidance and inspiration.
oh goodness gracious – thank you for your kindness!
Your message gives me hope and fills me with peace. God bless you!
thank you kathy!
I’ve been losing thoughts to the smoke too, and images. Missing the writing, the drawing. But I feel it beneath the surface waiting, if not these ideas then others. Wishing you a solid start to the year, Erin! It sounds like it was a full holiday season.
thank you sweet nikkita! :)
Sometimes the bullet one-liners will mean just as much as a beautifully written paragraph! Enjoy these times!
thank you frances! :)
I imagine it’s both hard and easy to care about the things you miss writing down when your arms are full of baby. Have you tried voice memos on your phone so at least you capture the thought? Happy New Year, my friend. xoxo
i LOVE the idea of voice memos — thank you for the pro tip, friend! :)
I have a younger friend with two sons, also in the thick of it. A few years ago, with a 5 yo and a newborn, she threw in the baby book towel and started jotting snippets on Post-its. The inside of her pantry door is covered in Post-its and I tell you, it is some fun reading!
omg i LOVE that idea, cynthia!!!!!!!!!!!
Parsnip hash browns, this is a game changer!!! I am making them this weekend for sure, incredible!
Also, I immediately had to purchase those Justin boots you had on for the hike/picnic photos. I am so in love with those boots! Thank you for sharing.
oh i’m so glad you love them – they’re so so comfy, too!!! and yes to the parsnip hashbrowns – i mix grated parsnips with grated potatoes and it’s a dream combo! :)
Coconut oil popcorn, yes! It’s the best! Happy New Year!
isn’t it?! ken’s the popcorn guru in our house and he makes it so well!
Beautifully written! Thank you for sharing your journey.
thank you reija!!!
I find this 5-year One Line a Day journal from Chronicle Books to be very easy and helpful for recording memories! Each day has 6 actual lines. I write small, so I can enter several sentences a day. It’s a manageable way to journal the important memories from each day during this busy time of motherhood. https://www.instagram.com/p/BOnhsWoBh2U/?taken-by=smross717
YES! i have the same journal! it’s so lovely yes?!?! thank you for sharing. :)