Shortly after publishing this post, my inbox became a beautiful jungle of sorts. I heard from hundreds of writers, creatives, and artists sharing a wide range of perspectives and experiences – Leaving social media? Impossible for my business! – to I’d love that. But how?
I was curious to notice that, within each email, there was a strong underlying current: the acknowledgement that, wherever we have chosen to hang our digital hats, “platforming” is not enjoyable. For any of us. We are tired of being tugged, and we all feel we’re at the mercy of an unnamed algorithm we can’t fight, nor face. We’re not having any fun chasing follows, our readers aren’t having fun “keeping up with everything,” and we’d all much rather spend our time creating meaningful work and memories that matter.
One of you wrote this: When I saw your email, it gave me hope. Is there a different way? A way that allows me to get the word out about my venture without having to spend so much time on something for little reward?
And to that, I say: YES. We are here. We are done circling the sky, navigating the Cloud, dodging birds (tweets and otherwise), and we are landing the plane. And now we get to decide where to move next.
My children love to sing an old bluegrass song called Arkansas Traveler, in which a stranger passes by a cabin that’s flooding. Inside is an old man playing his fiddle:
So the stranger said Now the way it seems to me
You’d better mend your roof said he
But the old man said as he played away
I couldn’t mend it now it’s a rainy day
The traveler replied that’s all quite true
But this I think is the thing for you to do
Get busy on a day that is fair and bright
Then patch the old roof till it’s good and tight
But the old man kept on a-playing at his reel
And tapped the ground with his leathery heel
Get along said he for you give me a pain
My cabin never leaks when it doesn’t rain
(Forgive me in advance, you’ll now have the tune in your head for hours.) And while there are many varied interpretations to this age-old ditty, it is one I often think of when our world is met with unsustainable conditions beyond our control. Do we continue to place our energies into a future that compromises our present? Tap out of familiarity, comfort? Keep a-playing our reel?
Or do we attempt to fix the leak?
Fixing the leak is work, yes. It is learning to do things differently, it is changing our circumstance and moving actively against the reliable, known, (temporary) comfort of our surroundings. It is turning our attention away from the sun – the promise of likes or fame or quick wins – long enough to accept the reality of an industry full of platforms where very real holes exist. It is exposing ourselves to failure, to mistakes, to many course corrections along the way. But if we can mend now, before the menacing clouds become a rushing downpour, we can offer our work a bit of shelter.
HOW TO MEND
Advice is my least favorite thing to give on the Internet, and so, hold these principles loosely for what they are. And yet, it is my sincere belief that mending the nature of our online work is not only possible, but essential. Think: Roots down, boots down.
Roots Down
“Let’s not forget that, in a time of increasing climate-related events, those who help you will likely not be your Twitter followers; they will be your neighbors.” -Jenny Odell
I’ve spoken of this on many occasions, but the more hours we spend investing in our neighbors, local resources, and personal relationships, the more nourished our bodies and souls will become on every single level. And I am convinced that a nourished body and soul is the only way to sustain our work – online or otherwise.
For some of us, this might mean that things look quiet on the Internet front. It might mean we put our time and effort into sustained projects that don’t make us feel frenzied or robotic or disingenuous. It might mean that, to an outsider, it appears we have “taken a break.” But we will know better. We will know that showing up online is not the same as showing up.
I often catch myself using the term “community” when describing online spaces, but perhaps a better way to view these digital platforms are “communication-y.” They are spaces in which, certainly, we can communicate our work and our values and our ideas. But can we commune over them? Community is best suited for roots, for service, for proximity and loyalty and belonging, for giving and taking and giving again. And in that regard, we have all been given such mercy. We all have streets we wander, hands we shake, smiles we share.
If we want to grow our roots deep, then, we must dig in. Join the chamber of commerce (before it’s gone). Ask the local florist to tie your poetry to her roses (before they’re gone). Start a writers group that meets at the local coffee shop (before it’s gone). Host your own platform, print your own zines, launch an underground newsletter. Be a neighbor, gain a neighbor, and the rest is history.
To Consider: The old artist couldn’t sell their work. The new artist sells their soul.
Boots Down
Mark Twain sold his books door-to-door. Warhol and his friends sold art out of an ice cream parlor. Nearly every author who published pre-1998 recounts passing books out of their trunk, and even today, underground zines are still distributed in alleys, quirky gift shops, and outside trains/tubes/trolleys galore.
What I’m saying is this: We can pound our given pavements. There is always a way to make art, give art, and share art, and we do ourselves a disservice when we assume there must be a hashtag attached.
In the years I have spent disinvested in social media and Internet culture, I have ghostwritten 2 books, written and published 1 book, spoken at 7 conferences, managed my homeschool co-op program, mentored 16 young writers, edited special projects for friends, volunteered for our local theatre nonprofit and led weekly guided journaling sessions.
I do not write this in a simplified attempt to bang the drum that quitting social media makes you wildly more productive (although, yes, it unquestionably does), but instead, to suggest that quitting social media needn’t be a hindrance to fruitful and abundant work. Other things are hindrance enough: finances, economy, fear of failure, supply and demand, mounting responsibilities, distractions, etc. May we not place the blame on an algorithm (or lack thereof).
To Consider: Are you sure you don’t have an author platform?
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I suppose the heart of the matter is this: We are all willing to question whether creatives/writers/artists can make a sustainable living without social media. But are we willing to question whether we can make a living with it?
My answer, of course, is here. But the more important question is: What’s yours?
Hi Erin! I love these thoughts and always love hearing your perspective! Connecting locally and in-person to grow my work has been so life giving and fruitful in the last year or so especially. A question I’m left with after reading this, though: when you list the projects you’ve completed in the years since you’ve disinvested in social media/internet culture, how many of those sprung from connections you made in the years you were more online? I’m sure it’s not all of them, but also, if you were to trace the roots back, is it fair to say it’s the majority? Genuinely curious, and grateful for you!
Hi Emily! Happy to answer your question! A few – certainly not the majority – of these projects were sparked from my mailing list due to over-the-years email exchanges, and none were a direct result of a social media exchange or follow. Vastly, the majority were personal connections: my church’s youth pastor, a homeschool org I volunteered for, a friend’s mother’s book club, a friend from my art gallery curation days (before social media existed!), another friend who I visited overseas (also before social media existed), and a local school teacher.
When I look at opportunity cost of a decision, it’s important to me that I consider the whole of it. How many opportunities were gained from me being – for a decade of my life – active on social media? I can’t know. But what I can know is this: how many would have been lost? Had I continued to pour my excess time into social media or platforming, I wouldn’t have the bandwidth or energy to maintain and grow the above relationships while raising a family. I wouldn’t have prioritized a local life in a way that allowed me to linger over a meeting, say yes to an afternoon tea, open my home to a stranger, volunteer for a mentorship position, etc etc etc.
For what it’s worth: a story comes to mind. A year or so after I left social media, I was delayed in the airport and ran into an old friend-of-a-friend from a former screenwriting gig (pre-social-media, as well). We enjoyed an hour-long convo, and I left with an inquiry for my editing rates. Her words? “It’s refreshing to have a convo with a writer these days who doesn’t speak “Internet.” We need that for a new book I’m repping. Can you revise a sample chapter, go from there?”
I got the job.
What I’m getting at is this: just as there exists a world in which it is beneficial to be active online, there is another world in which it is beneficial to be inactive online. I think many of us overestimate the former and devalue the latter. Wherever we land as individuals, my deepest hope is that we recognize we have a choice in either direction.
I hope this is helpful!
I love to hear these backstories! Thank you for the generous reply!
Of course!
I really hope this social media bubble in the writing world will pop. I too am exploring maintaining a writing platform without Instagram, (I’ve been listening to an encouraging podcast called Writing off Social!)
I know that If I get off or minimize social, the truth is I’d be riding on all the years I did invest in it. It’s what’s given me credibility in my niche and my email list. In about 2015 Google became very difficult to maintain visibility on and I had to use social to gain readers (and yes—better community in my niche!)
I’d love to hear your advice for less established non fiction writers breaking into traditional publishing without serious, hard social media metrics or personal industry connections.
Hi Rachael! Happy to offer my own two cents, for what it’s worth! I generally look to the past for perspective re: the future. Much of my own career was forged before social media existed (I have now written online for two decades: one without a social media presence, and one with it), and what worked for me initially was what worked for writers before me: offer your work to existing platforms – magazines, newspapers, blogs, online magazines, etc. When I first moved to Los Angeles, I sent queries out to dozens of publications, and while many said no, it took only one to say yes to a feature (hat tip, Apartment Therapy!). A portfolio is born with a single article, and if desired, a platform can be built from there.
When it comes to nonfiction writers “breaking in,” I often think of authors like Rebecca Boyle, who was a journalist/contributing writer at The Atlantic for years before publishing her first book. Or Jessica Hendry Nelson, a professor. Or Thomas Gannon, a birder. Heck, Hemingway was a reporter for The Toronto Star! Likely they had industry contacts, yes. But they gained those contacts not through social media, but through their everyday lives, careers, passions, etc. If we want to be writers, we must write. We can do so on social media, certainly, but we can also do so in our very own sphere of influence, and who’s to say what will (or won’t) come of it?
After all, one day in 1964, a simple housewife walked into the editor’s office at the Kettering-Oakwood Times and said, “I’d like to do a column for you.” He said yes, and the world met Erma Bombeck.
Thanks for your reply! I appreciate this perspective. The online writing world often paints pictures of a quick career built on a single facet (the internet.) It’s easy to get into that mindset. Will be pondering what you said .
You’re so welcome, and I agree – it’s so easy to assume a polished/branded/marketed online presence is essential to a writing career! The further away I move from it, the more I see clearly the many other options that exist.
And on another note, I believe we have MANY friends in common! I hope you’ll be at W+F this fall, and I hope we bump into each other so I can say hello!
Hi Rachael! If this is the same Rachael that writes the homeschool blog I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy reading your content and it has been really helpful to me.
It’s me! Thank you for your words of encouragement!
Love this encouragement, Kiara. :)
Hi Erin! I just wanted to say that I’m currently still reading your book and it has been a game changer for me. I have quit all social media (YouTube was hard!) and believe it or not, I’ve experienced more clarity in my way of thinking. I feel like I have more options now that I’m not constantly scrolling or looking up random videos. Because I am a homeschooling mom I do feel that one day I may revisit YouTube for educational videos, documentaries, or Lego tutorials :). HOWEVER, I love the question you ask in your book “is there another way?” And for me there is. The library has tons of educational media like DVDs and more that won’t distract me so much like YouTube does for me. I also wanted to share this…whenever my children and I are waiting in the car while running errands we LOVE to play “the people watching game.” We love guessing to see which person is going to which car as they come out of the store and also watching to see what each person bought from the store as they carry their goods or load their trunks. We imagine all kinds of things about the people like maybe they have a pet, are going camping, or preparing for back to school. It’s a really fun game and it gives us the opportunity to converse with one another, be aware of our surroundings, and most importantly, be off of my phone. ☺️
Oh Kiara – I’m smiling wide b/c I used to (well, OK, still do) play that game ALL THE TIME! My kids and I just played it in the airport last weekend, imagining where people were going, who they were seeing, what they’d do when they landed…. :) Great to meet a fellow hardcore people-watcher! :)
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I can’t wait to hear the many “other ways” you discover in your journey ahead! :)
:) thank you!
Hi Erin,
I can’t even remember how I heard about you or got on your mailing list but I love what you write! I am a social media free mom, floral designer and substitute teacher. I make flowers, wreaths etc… and head downtown and sell them on the street. People always ask me what my instagram is and tell me how much it will help my business, but how can I find time to create if I am constantly posting, updating, and following?! People always describe me as a super happy creative person, maybe I’m just in my own head bubble but we do not need social media! I have a teenage son with a phone to keep in touch with friends but he sets his browsing limit to 5 minutes a day. He is such a happy kid, loves to mountain bike, hang with his friends and explore nature. I promise you my 9 year old daughter will not have it either, how could she find the time when she is so busy doing dance, gymnastics, making art, riding her bike and working on her pet care business with the neighborhood girls?! My husband couldn’t figure out how to use social media if he tried, lol! We have a happy family, have no need for therapists like almost all other families we know. We are very grateful. Life is so full and abundant out there and off the screen. Keep up the good work!
Your happy, social media free “friend,”
Caroline
So so so lovely to hear from you, Caroline, and I so appreciate you sharing your experience! It buoys us all, I believe. :) Sending big hugs to your family as you continue to discover so much abundance in this beautiful life!
Hi Erin,
I truly appreciate these words. I’m a mother of three small children who sacrifices sleep every night just for a few moments of uninterrupted writing time. After reading your book, Chasing Slow, I know you understand. My passion for writing, for finding just the right words to describe life honestly, drives me. I’d love to start blogging as a business venture, but I’ve been afraid. With so few moments to spare for writing, how can I waste any on social media? But if I choose not to engage in the storm of online self-promotion, will anyone ever see my words? Your article has given me hope that they will – that real life connections can be enough, that I can choose to live differently and STILL pursue my dreams. Thank you.
I’ve just purchased The Opt Out Family after listening to your interview on the read aloud revival, (we’re in our second year of homeschool) and I’m very excited to read it! Your storytelling is fantastic and your words so inspirational.
I’m sure your so inundated with writing jobs that you must say no, but if you end up with five minutes of free time, I’d love your opinion on my writing and any tips you may have for improvement. My sister-in-law is creating an official blogging website for me and it feels like a new notebook without a single mark or mistake – I’ve want to get it just right! So any writing or blogging tips would be a dream come true. Thank you.
This is a post from by blogger page:
https://savorthesedays.blogspot.com/2024/08/12-week-miscarriage.html?m=1
Hi Erin!
We met several years ago in Fort Wayne at Design Week and it’s so great to hear what you’ve been up to. It’s interesting, I met my boyfriend on instagram last year and since then have used the platform wayyyy less. The funny thing is that last year, I got on your email list because I thought of you randomly and said, “I wonder what Erin is doing these days.” I think most of us do really crave real and meaningful connection, art, and words to engage with, and the algorithm just can’t serve that up. It feels so good to be engaged with life in the real world to the point that you don’t miss social media at all. I quit my job as a digital designer 5 years ago and became an outdoor programs manager for a rural school district in Colorado. Life feel so much better with less screen work. Blessings to you and your family!