I’ve heard it said – in many variations – that peace is not the absence of chaos. It is, instead, a state of mind – the ability to rise above anxieties and fears and gain a sense of perspective that might dispel a brief, but great, moment of tension. And if that’s true (I think it is), what can we say of the other opposites, contrasts – absences – we’ve come to known? Black vs. white. Help vs. hurt.
Style vs. substance.
If you’ve read this blog for more than a second, you’ll know that this site has sometimes caused great tension for me in the past. Am I – by seeking to discover the beauty that exists aesthetically – contributing to the sense that we are defined by this same beauty? That our bank accounts and homes and closets are true measures of value? That things are greater than people, form greater than function?
I realized, today, that this is a gray area. It’s one that cannot easily be summed up in a pinnable photo or tweetable post, but instead, is a greater chaos that might always exist for me. But peace, I’ve found, is not the absence of chaos. And form is not the absence of function.
Life is not either/or. It is and/both. It is everything, all at once, spilling out of our neatly-organized backpacks and bumping into each other on the streets. Indeed, in the great spectrum of life, there will always be a bit of gray.
Beauty and flaws. Style and substance. Design and imperfection. These are not words created to be opposites, they are ideas created to push and pull at each other. They are messy concepts meant to be honored but not taken seriously, held closely but not clutched.
We are not beautiful with flaws. We are beautifully flawed.
We can be mothers who speak passionately about art, and we can be artists who speak passionately about motherhood. We can be both, and we can be gray. We can be teachers and wives and really bad cooks that sometimes go to yoga but mostly just wear yoga pants. We can be foodies who frequent Chik-fil-A (waffle fries, you know it) and we can be skincare experts who battle breakouts. We can be stylists in sweat pants and cobblers in bare feet. We can be both, and we can be gray.
We can be style and substance, imperfectly designed. Some days charcoal, other days mist. But always, we can be gray.
Image Credits: Apiece Apart
p.s. The post that started it all.
I loved this post. You are an amazing example of what you’re writing about,too. : )
I remember when I was a kid (uhhh okay, right up until last year?) I literally thought Ketchup was the *opposite* of mustard, and pepper was the *opposite* of salt. It wasn’t anything that I put into practice, I often eat both. At the same time. It was just a concept that somehow had taken root in my mind.
I still have trouble *not* thinking that ketchup and mustard are yin and yang. But, they are not. It’s a weird, learned thing that somehow got engraved.
Of course, this is a silly version of what you are saying, but I think it’s interesting how we create situations of “either or” and then accept them as a hard truth.
For me, it’s become learning to listen more to the “deep down truth”. This is the one that often manifests in a physical way, before I even know how to say it. : )
Ha – you are one of my favorite people in all the land, Susan. So proud of your recent endeavors, and SO grateful for your sweet words. :)
Beautiful words, so perfectly laid out. Thank you for sharing!
xo
http://www.PlumPrettySugar.blogspot.com
Thank you, Jen!
Agreed! You can be up and down, happy and sad, all of these dichotomies at once. Life is about just living life, not about living this perfect unattainable image. :) Well said!
Also, gray is my favorite color. So there’s that.
Ha, mine too, Maddy!!
“We can be mothers who speak passionately about art, and we can be artists who speak passionately about motherhood.” I love that. To not let ourselves be put into boxes and to take risks, beyond our comfort zone. It’s about being true to yourself, beyond convention.
Amen, amen, Sara!!!
Lovely post! Thank you!
Kathleen
xx
http://nikitaandvesper.com/blogs/baby-blog
Thanks, Kathleen!
Well, hurray for grey!
Actually, I’m more a fan of bright colors :-), but when you put it like this… Again you have written a beautiful piece and I can totally relate to it.
Ah, thanks, Liesbeth. :)
The different parts that make up who we are and what we’re all about is what makes us “us.” The ingredients and quantities vary from person to person, allowing us to view and share the world from our own perspective. xo
Love this, lady. :)
Wow. I think you’ve defined the eternal delimma of many of us–how to define ourselves (even if just to ourselves). I so identify with this life philosophy and appreciate your beautiful way of explaining it. Will give some direction to my wandering mind this week. Thank you.
Wow. I think you’ve defined the eternal delimma of many of us–how to define ourselves (even if just to ourselves). I so identify with this life philosophy and appreciate your beautiful way of explaining it. Will give some direction to my wandering mind this week. Thank you.
Wow. I think you’ve defined the eternal delimma of many of us–how to define ourselves (even if just to ourselves). I so identify with this life philosophy and appreciate your beautiful way of explaining it. Will give some direction to my wandering mind this week. Thank you.
Thanks, Dani. :)
http://www.damncoolpictures.com/