Currently

Bang trims, watercolors, mango slices.

Musical reenactments in the sunroom, her stage. She wants to know how to spell Gaston, needs to borrow a tote as a prop, asks me to put ‘Kill the Beast’ on repeat.

For a bit, I say, sliding the door shut.

puzzle

She remembers candied pecans and puzzles from last winter, and our tradition begins. Yesterday, we add Bing Crosby.

Already? Ken says.

Already.

We have gone on two dates in two weeks. The first, to our favorite restaurant – leisurely, quiet, local – the second, to a bustling corner with cloves in the margarita. The child seated at the table next to us orders well: just the cheese dip, thanks.

On our first date, we talk about the future and other people. The second, we talk about now and ourselves. Many of my doubts, much of his sureties.

But you’ve always said…
I know…

At home, we hug in the kitchen, a jealous dog scratching at our legs.

messy dining room

A gift from Bee: five sheets of paper stapled together, presented to her father. It’s a clipboard, she says.

The toddler wants a ball or two, or many. When he’s thirsty, he makes the sound of a caveman; a grunt, or a mouthwash gurgle. He asks for pots and pans by cocking his head toward the cabinet, another grunt, a single eyebrow raised and the shrug of his shoulders. Poon? he’ll request, and he stirs imaginary breakfasts with the spatula I offer.

Have you taught him baby sign language? someone asks me last week.

But he already has his own.

A gift from my mother-in-law: a Ziploc bursting with acorns. For throwing, she says.

A quote in my journal: “I love you forever’ really means ‘Just trust me for now,’ which is all it ever means, and we just hope to keep renewing the “now,” year after year.” -Adam Gopnik

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  • As always, this is such a calming start to my day. Thank you for that! I enjoyed all of this, especially the bag of acorns for throwing. Sounds like something my mother would do. Made me chuckle this morning.

  • We picked up Patience Hands from you, I believe, and Forrest still remembers – so many of his babyisms are gone and forgotten but that one remains. Happy Halloween!

    • oh patience hands – yes! so good!!! i love the ones that stick around a bit longer. ;) happy halloween to you and sweet forrest!

  • Erin,
    I read Chasing Slow and loved it! I like your blog too. Looking forward to hear you speak at Chicks and Chocolate! Enjoy your kids! They will grow up way too fast!
    I’m a mom of 5, my husband and I have our own business and we have a non profit. I really resonate with all that you do!
    Looking forward to meeting you on Friday!
    Many blessings to you. Enjoy today!

  • I think our little girls would be fast friends. My daughter, too, loves reenacting musicals on “stage” and is in the midst of a Beauty and Beast obsession. However, your daughter would have to teach mine to be brave at the “Kill the Beast” and other “bad guy” parts. ;)

    Thank you for your words, as always. I find great solidarity in this journey of motherhood through them.