autohairography: chapter two.

Below is a snippet of my hope-to-be-published memoir, Autohairography. If you know of a publisher that’s nice and likes quirky girls, please email me!

[image credit: kerry coulson]

chapter two.
1987-1990. peachy keen.

I don’t really even know if that’s how the saying goes. Peachy keen? Or is it peachy king? All I remember is hearing Rizzo from Grease say ‘Peachy [insert correct phrasing here], jelly bean,” and me thinking she was pretty much the funniest thing in the entire world and imitating her every move, except for that whole getting pregnant thing and experiencing the ‘false alarm’ moment at my senior high carnival. That part, I didn’t imitate.

I think the night before my fourth birthday was the evening my hair grew. I always thought some sort of hair fairy came into the night and left a surprise not under my pillow, but on top of it. Because I don’t quite remember my hair growth any differently except that what was gone was now there.

But instead of growing into silky curls and flowing locks, my hair grew stick straight and in the shape of an army buzz. It was very, very short, and very, very stick-like. I closely resembled a Chia Pet, but the blonde version. In fact, my older sister’s best friend Todd Robinson came over one day and asked my Mom if he could ‘pet me.’ As in, an animal. An animal with army buzz hair.

I bit him.

  • ah ha ha! Did you really? But, your hair is so beautiful now, isn’t it?
    I hated my hair for. EVEH. Until I was around 19 and then….not so much. The opposite of stick straight though….Love this Erin.

  • hahaha! my mom really really wanted to do the baby’s first haircut thing with me, but it just wouldn’t grow. we finally did it when i was three, even though there was absolutely no reason for it yet! now my hair grows like weeds. i had it short for a while, but it became too expensive to get it cut every month, so i just let it grow out. hooray for “late bloomers”!!!

  • I find this so interesting considering I probably hung out at your house quite a bit when you were this age and I was completely oblivious to your hair, or at least I guess I was because I don’t remember now. And are you sure it is isn’t Scott Robinson? Or did you change his name to protect the innocent. ;)

  • love it! i had a friend who said her mom used to tape little bows to her head because she didn’t grow hair until she was, like, three! i’m so buying your book when it’s published! when i was a kid, my mom would never cut my hair. i always had long hair! so when i was turning 30, i flew to prague, fell in love with my (now) husband, and decided i wanted to shave my head. it was probably the most free i’ve ever felt, away from the ‘trappings’ of hair (plus i was getting carpal tunnel from trying to blow dry my long curly hair straight every morning haha). since then, i’ve had two pixie hair cuts, and every once in a while, i still get the urge to just cut it all off. :) woohoo!

  • Aaahhahaha. I LOVED Grease. I really can’t wait to read more.

    My hair grew in curly at the age of 3 or 4. I was pretty much bald until then. But my mom, a total hippy, never explained to me how to be proper curly girls. So I’d see girls at school run brushes through their silky straight hair and do the same. Only to end up with a head full of frizz. And to add insult to injury my mom gave me the bangs that started half-way back on my head. I was a hot mess.

  • i loved grease but was more of a sandra dee girl before the makeover and i’m cool with that! glad you bit him! boys!

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