autohairography: chapter eleven.

Below is a snippet of my hope-to-be-published memoir, Autohairography. If you know of a publisher that’s nice and likes quirky girls, please email me!

[image credit: susanna spangberg]

everything i know i learned from my hairdresser.

1. When life hands you lemons, put them in a spray bottle and spritz the formula onto your hair. You’ll get sheen and scent, both of which will gain you many, many years of luck with boys.
2. If you cut corners, you’ll wind up looking like a messed up version of yourself.
3. When the going gets tough, the tough bleach.
4. Speak softly and carry a big can of hairspray.
5. It’s OK if you don’t gel with everyone.
6. Work hard. Spray harder.
7. No one can make you feel you have bad hair without your consent.
8. Never forget your roots.
9. Ask not what you can do for your hair, but what your hair can do for you.
10. Only the good dye young.

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