story time.

Shenee, my mentee (is that a word?) has asked me to kick off an exciting new project she’s working on entitled EightThirtyFive. Go forth and visit. But first? My story begins…

Note: This is a story from my journal back in 2004. Fun, yes?

I’m in this somewhat abusive relationship with eBay. I give a little, I get a little… give a little more, get a little more, and after a few more gets and gives and I’m in a fully-functional dependent relationship. I had no idea just how dependent (literally), however, until my latest purchase arrived…

I’ve got a thing for 1920’s depression glass. Call me Edwardian, but I love the old world tints of them all. So you can imagine my absolute delight when I found a lot of amethyst and cyan goblets from 1929. I’m thrilled, I’m bidding, and eight hours later I’m the proud owner.

I always have my goods delivered to the office, so I can take them home periodically to avoid a massive heart attack from the husband. I’d like very much not to kill him before we’ve gone on our honeymoon, and because I’m somewhat of a bulk shopper, I have methods.

So. It’s a Friday (perfect eBay shipment day) and I’m walking in the door from a horrid meeting when alas… a brown dropping from the UPS man.

I throw down my portfolios and renderings and dig into the Styrofoam popcorn that awaiteth me. First piece I pull out? Gorgeous. Second? Even better. I reach through the old newspaper clippings that proudly exclaim San Fernando Valley’s first ever woman firemen squad when I hit a soft, silky… padded package.

Wrapped in the biggest adult diaper I have ever seen in my life.

With adhesive wings.

For maximum coverage.

Maybe it was a dog diaper created for aging St. Bernard’s, or perhaps I was receiving William Taft’s old barware. Either way, I cannot express into words the amount of times I washed my hands that day. And that night. And this morning.

What exactly did the package contain? A cyan pitcher with starburst detailing and a Mr. Jones lid a la Kelly Wearstler, my Interior Icon.

I hope the garbage man is into antiques.

Follow the rest of the stories at EightThirtyFive, and thanks for the fun, Shenee!

  • I don’t get it… was the diaper used? I bet unused diapers are a lot cleaner than things people regularly put to their lips, like soda cans. Or touch, like the doorknob of the bathroom where you washed your hands so many times…

  • I’m laughing out loud with your story. I’ll be washing my hands a lot also if something like that happened to me. As I was reading your story I totaly identified myself with the abusive relationship with eBay. I did the same with my husband, didn’t show him everything at once :-)

    Now I’m in self-control I try not to surf ebay, otherwise I lose the control

  • Oh, man, ick. I would be grossed out, too.

    Oh, eBay. The creative packaging your sellers provide leads to amazing, amazing stories.

  • What a great story to kick of this “tour”. I use eBay very rarely, and the times I have used it, I’ve never come across packaging like that. Needless to say, but I am not jealous :) Again, thanks for sharing. :)

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