In case you missed it on Instagram…
last week, i tried to text my mother in law while cooking omelettes and knocked the salt mortar all over the floor. we’ve been fishing himalayan grains out of our toes for days. both dogs are after the floorboards like wild deer to an abandoned salt lick.
the truth is, I’m a terrible multitasker, so it could have been anything that caused the great spilling of the salt. but it wasn’t. because the other truth is, when i reach for my phone, stuff falls. i need both hands to type on my phone and i need both hands to do everything else that’s required of me.
i’ve always heard that when you have a baby, you lose an arm. everything is one-handed, everything is a shortcut. you learn to open a pickle jar with an elbow and wrist while pacing around the kitchen island, a swaddled baby asleep on your chest.
so i’ve spent the past two months trying to do everything with one hand. but it doesn’t work that way. i need both hands here. otherwise, the salt spills.
things lately have been mediocre, to be honest. my commitments, my relationships, the state of my laundry pile. it’s not a bad thing. it’s just that i have no hands to offer. they’re tied up with something else.
i think what i’m getting at is this: i do not want to spill this salt. i’m gonna use both of my hands here, at home, and for a bit, things might be fairly spotty. last month, i wrote ‘big jugs!’ instead of ‘big hugs!’ to my publisher in an email, so well, spotty might be erring on the kinder side of things.
i’m a bit of a mess is what i’m saying. a little distracted. my hands are happily occupied, dealing uno cards and cutting grapes and pointing out vowel sounds and pouring coffee (again and again and again). i’m just a slow learner. transitions take me some time, and i felt like i should tell you. i felt like i should tell you because i take this job really seriously and i also take THIS job really seriously and i don’t want to do either of them one-handed, half-hearted, eyes glazed over.
so i won’t. i’m gonna try really hard to be a good steward of my time, and also of yours. because it is not lost on me that when your hands reach for the phone, you might be knocking over your own salt, too.
and i want it to at least be a little bit worth it.