As Mama to an almost 3 year old (and to the almost 1 year old online children’s shop Darling Clementine) I am so warmed by Erin’s request for some Motherly Advice. So thank you Erin, and welcome to the Mama club!
While I am honored to share my tidbits of wisdom as the happy Mama of an almost 3 year old little girl I do want to caution you to let some of the advice, anticdotes and general how to’s fall by the wayside. It’s easy to bury yourself in books, “friendly” criticism and step by step lists of how to get your baby to sleep, eat, poop and stop crying on demand. As many Mamas have said before in these posts, enjoy the moments that you can’t ever get back and stop worrying so much about the details, the mess, the few extra pounds lingering etc. I will though however offer a few simple pieces of wisdom I wish had been bestowed upon me when I became a new Mama…
1. Realize everyone in the entire world will ask “how is the baby sleeping” and you will cringe (hopefully on the inside). The answer is simple. LIKE A BABY. And you know what, that means they sleep erratically at best, sometimes in your arms only, sometimes only in the car seat, occasionally in a corner of the couch but almost never at night, when Mama & Papa needs their rest.
2. Get out with baby, especially when they are little, snuggle them close in a carrier, and go about your life, visit with friends and enjoy a time when you’re not lugging containers of homemade baby food, toys and activities, strollers, scooters etc. Relish in the relative easiness of a new baby and their needs (I always felt like, as long as my boobs were present, we were good to go anywhere!). Take that trip!
3. Your baby will change every few weeks. Meaning, if she’s getting up every 20 minutes at night, she won’t forever. I promise.
4. Let your partner do more. Being a Mama means sleeping with one eye open and wanting to soothe every tear and sop up every mess, because it’s what we do. But the more your partner does, the stronger their bond. I read somewhere how important it is for your partner change diapers, soothe and feed baby (if you are nursing from breast exclusively obviously I don’t mean you, but if you are pumping milk, formula, later solids etc.) so that this baby learns to trust that their needs will be met by more than just you. I remember specifically having my husband change our daughter when he got home right away, so our little Juliette knew that Papa was here to take care of her, not just make silly sweet faces. Which of course he did plenty of too!
5. If you are breastfeeding, learn to do it standing up, with baby in a carrier. The life changing freedom this will allow you will be worth it. I’ve nursed standing up in line with Juliette snuggled under a muslin swaddle blanket in a carrier at the DMV (!), on walks when we just couldn’t quite make it home in time for her feeding and an endless number of restaurants around the city. I never wanted feeding to mean I couldn’t do things, see friends, eat out etc. Plus Juliette learned quickly to eat with noise and activity around.
Hope this advice makes you smile, helps you realize you are an amazing Mama already and don’t sweat the small stuff! Enjoy each day!