When Jess Constable hit “publish” on this post, I hope she was proud. The kind of proud that makes you feel you should put on your running shoes and flee for the mountains, much like a curtain-clothed Julie Andrews frolicking about. I hope she twirled that day, because she deserves to.
And when Ez contacted me to start a viral blogging campaign about transparency, fear and anxiety, I hope she was proud, too. Because when I agreed to participate, I twirled. I twirled and twirled and twirled, so fantastically inspired by this community of genuine women that surrounds me. At the same time, the all-too-familiar fears of anxiety and rejection began to creep up inside me as I wondered what exactly I would (could? should?) share with the world.
The truth is, I spare a lot of details about my personal life on this site. For a lot of reasons, of course, which is something people say when they’re scared to admit the true reasons. And for me, those true reasons stem from fear.
When I started my personal blog in 2001, no one was listening except for my college roommate and the computer hacker down the hall in 2B. And now? Now there are thousands of you, which scares me to no end. I’m so much more comfortable highlighting the amazing lives that other creatives are building, rather than let you in to see the cracks in my own foundation. I’m a shack writing about the many Sistine Chapels of the world, and in doing so, I forget that even shacks provide shelter amidst the storm.
So, in honor of celebrating the shack in us all, I present to you a list of Things I’m Afraid to Tell You:
1. I limit my time on social media channels (Twitter/Facebook/Instagram) not because I’m too busy, but because feelings of jealousy creep up when I look at the perfectly styled and aspirational lifestyles of my online friends and suddenly my life seems too slow, too mundane… too regular. (I know this isn’t true, and that I have the power to mold and create the life I want. In reality, I am a very lucky girl, yet when my focus is on others behind a computer screen, my perspective shifts and I get thrown off balance.)
2. I sometimes tire of writing about art/design/visual inspiration, because I fear I’m contributing to a false sense of reality. I do believe there is beauty in absolutely everything, but where does that beauty come from? Is it in a well-designed object, or the story of a maker who has overcome adversity in some way? Or is it in the beauty of failure – of accidents, unexpected twists and personal trials?
3. I am average at a lot of different things, but above average at very little, so my inner voice sometimes lets that deter me from following my dreams. I badly want to start a clothing/product line, but am terrified, because I’m not a style expert and know nothing of the sort. But you know what? I’m going to give it a shot. I truly am.
4. I miss creating things. On some days, I’m perfectly content highlighting the inspiration that abounds from other people’s creations, and then other days? Other days I want to join in on the fun – to be my own inspiration. To create my own things, my own self. I haven’t found that balance yet, but I’m hopeful.
5. I am super sensitive and my feelings are easily hurt. I spend a lot of days in my own head, creating catastrophes that don’t exist and feeling anxious about silly, unimportant details. I continually judge myself and am a very, very harsh critic. (This is why I give myself non-goals at the beginning of the year!)
6. I am a horrid homemaker. Until recently (thanks to nesting!), I rarely cooked a meal and am always fighting the dreaded laundry day. I can’t remember the last time I cleaned my toilets (I truly am disgusting myself over here).
7. I’m surprisingly non-crafty. I don’t have the patience or attention to detail, which is why designing and styling is more up my alley. If the item already exists and I can create something around it? Yes. If I have to dream up the inner workings and function of something entirely new? Hives abound.
8. I’m not fully confident in my own skin. I have stretch marks, teen acne scars, oily skin and many more beauty flaws. I have to continually remind myself to strive for inner beauty and forget the rest. Don’t we all?
You guys. I feel better already. I can’t thank you enough for allowing me to create a safe place where I can share my deepest anxieties. I’d encourage you to do the same, when you’re ready. Or to visit the other bloggers who are spilling their guts today. The hills are, indeed, alive, and I’m so glad we’re ready to twirl.
Much love to each of you,
e.
EDIT: My gracious, you guys are so incredibly supportive and kind. I’m amazed at this community. Definitely read through the comment section – it’s a great thread and proves that we’re all much more similar than we think! Thank you for your grace today!
Hugs to you, Erin! You are an exceptionally wonderful person, and I wish we could spend some more time together. You deserve a big hug for sharing! :)
even shacks provide shelter amidst the storm. — BEAUTIFULLY put…
I am totally loving this campaign. It’s so awesome to read everyone’s take on this scarey to write, warming to read topic. I completely resonate with so many of your fears. I hadn’t seen your non goals before and I’m excited to read it. I intentionally steer away from NY’s Resolutions for similar reasons. Thanks, Erin! XOXO, MJ
Thank you so much, sweet ladies. This was a bit terrifying to write, and I so appreciate your support! I’d love to hear what a few of YOU are afraid of! :)
I love you, Erin. I love you because of these things and not in spite of them, and I can relate to each and every thing on the list in both big ways and small.
I didn’t know about this project, but if I had, I would have participated for sure. Maybe I’ll just do my own version. Either way, thanks for the nudge.
You’re the bee’s knees. xx
awww! i love this. wow. three cheers for being brave enough to share. :D
@Anna – I love you, too, sweet Anna! And yes, you MUST do your own version. It’s surprisingly therapeutic. :)
Thanks for this. You’re a brave and wonderful writer.
bravo, erin!
This was wonderful to read.
This is so wonderful! You have great timing–I was just thinking today about how I love being creative but don’t really enjoy “crafting.” You explained it so well! I might have to write one of these posts myself.
Ahhhh…Erin! What a great post! The Internet is full of glass houses isn’t it? I love you for your stylish ways, of course, but most importantly, I love you just for being YOU! Way to inspire others to bare details about themselves! (and for what it’s worth…I’m afraid my kids are going to hate me because I’m never going to throw them the lavish kinds of parties I see on the Web…sigh… this is why I had to let go of sites like Pinterest. TOO MUCH PRESSURE!)
Hi Erin,
Thanks so much for sharing. It’s been so great to get a glimpse of the people behind the blogs. We all share the fears, and have the quirks, and it’s nice to air them.
I am truly inspired by your post! Beautiful, well written and very true to myself and many people, both in the creative and blogosphere world. Hugs and comfort in knowing that we are all human and not alone in this sometimes scary, yet beautiful world. :)
Brave. Super related to: #1, #3, and #6.
Vulnerability is something that plagues everyone, male / female, creative professional / bean counter, black / whte (yes i’m aware there are many more races). Writing them out and looking at them, or actually saying them out loud is a difficult excercise. Most of us choose to let our anxieties silently eat us up inside. I am personally guilty of this personal growth-blocking sin.
Erin, bravo to you for facing yours so bravely and honestly. I want to be like Erin today.
erin, thank you!! so glad you shared. i really identify with a few of these :) always so inspired by you. xo
nothing is more inspiring than totally honesty, today you’ve shown us something beautiful.
I know it takes a lot to step outside of yourself to share what makes you crawl inside that skin. I cannot wait to write up my post to share my fears, anxieties, and self doubts. I think it will be an eye-opener for those who don’t know and for the me that knows, but chooses to focus so much energy on ignoring it altogether with the hope that it will just go away.
I loved participating in this challenge and was especially excited to read your post. Erin, it was lovely! Your blog is unique, I always leave it feeling inspired and motivated. Today was no exception.
The image of all those women free and twirling in their honesty? Perfect.
Best of luck.
You guys! You’re all so kind. I can’t wait to read your fears (that sounds much more mean-spirited than I meant it!), and I so very much appreciate your support and grace.
I guess the true question is, what do I do now? How to move forward and incorporate a more transparent self? Eek!
Hopping through all of the links on this topic today – so beautifully written! I relate to every single one of these, ESPECIALLY #5. I have a hard time if i feel like someone doesn’t like me for no reason…and i’ll let it fester and stew and try to figure out all the reasons why I suck. It’s really a horrible habit…! Thanks for sharing what’s going on in your head, we are all so similar in so many ways. :)
I can relate to so many of these feelings. Missing creating things, being afraid to fail when I attempt a big goal, being super sensitive, and getting jealous of the perceived lives others live as shared through the Internet. I am glad to know you feel the same way I do, as I look up to you a lot. Thank you for being yourself through and through.
Thank you, ladies! It’s funny how similar we really are in this big, vast community! :)
Thanks so much for sharing!! It’s always good to hear that you’re not alone, and boy, am I in the same boat. I’m still trying to figure out my blog voice, but I’m always so afraid to admit when I’m having a rough time. You’re such an inspiration, and I hope you know that!!
big hugs to you. and stop apologizing! :)
@Karen Thank you! I think we’re all still trying to find our blog voice, and then it changes and we have to try again. I suppose that’s all part of growing up?
@Rena OMG you are right! I’m going to NOW. :)
so wonderful, nicey.
you’re always so inspiring.
and your smile brings a smile to everyone.
thanks for that.
and loved reading your brave words here.
hugs & hugs & hugs.
Erin, I love your post… Beautiful. There is great power in sharing our fears together:)
So inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing, Erin!
Thank you, ladies!
THis is so lovely. Thank you so much for writing this. I am constantly jealous of everything I see on the internet from all the fabulous people I follow, and I know that the biggest reason I don’t blog often enough is because I feel like nothing I post is as awesome as what others are doing. My house isn’t clean enough or doesn’t look good enough to inspire anyone, my DIY’s aren’t nearly as cool and helpful, my photography isn’t beautiful enough, etc. While other bloggers and creatives seem to have this PERFECT life that I’m so jealous of. I realize they have their own issues too, and that it’s not as real as it seems, but that doesn’t make it an easier for me to post images from my own life. The worst part? It makes me question my happiness with my life when in all actuality I am happier than I could ever be with what I have already. Thank you, Erin.
I admire your bravery for this post (and thanks to Jess and Ez for their sparks). We all have fears and flaws, but I can say this, having met you… energy, sweetness, positivity, and sparkle emanate from you!
Thanks for sharing, Erin! With your design eye, I’m sure your clothing line would be beautiful! I hope you do give it a go.
A blog post that makes me love you even more Erin :) This is such a fantastic idea… Bloggers as real people with real insecurities. Cracks in the perfect looking reality I guess. I love Twitter and Instagram but sometimes it feels almost fantasy-like. I prefer authentic, real, genuine people who have good days and bad days! I feel very sensitive to artificial things lately. I can relate to every single item on your list (particularly my long-term struggle with #5). You inspire people daily Erin and this post is yet another layer on that cake! I like the idea of moving forward with a more transparent self. You are making that happen, heck yes! xo
I love that you women are so uplifting —- I was really hesitant to publish this because I didn’t for a SECOND want to seem ungrateful for all of the wonderful aspects of my job. Thank you for being so positive, supportive and uplifting. This has been such a valuable experience – I can’t wait to infuse more personal thoughts into daily posts. We’ll see if I can figure out how that works. :)
#5… i do the same thing. thanks so much for being open and honest, erin. keep it up!
You are a shining light Erin, thanks for sharing :)
Erin,
I cannot tell you enough how much it means for an influential blogger like you to share some behind-the-scenes reality with everyone. As I just wrote on Ez’s post, I really prefer a balance as a reader. Not all the perfection all the time, it has gone on too long and creates really unhealthy mental expectations internally. I see now that it is not just me. Life is not like that and we can really build real communities if we confront these fears and expectations. As Brene Brown says, by talking about shame, we dispel it. Somehow, (not eloquently) I see a connection between this perfection online, feeling inadequate internally as a result and then harboring shame about it all. We lose our power and our strength when we go there and this is a huge step in the right direction. I am thrilled, THRILLED to see this movement! I will be joining in, oh yes!
Jessica – Amazing thoughts! I love Brene’s take on shame, and you’re right – this is definitely a similar pattern of thought re: perfection. Thank you for noting that! I can’t wait to see you join the movement with head held high! :)
Gosh, you deserve a twirl. I love this post and I love this movement towards honesty in a world that can sometimes feel shallow or even fake. We share quite a few things (hi there, oily skin and non-craftiness) and when I read this, it just makes me appreciate you more. And I do appreciate you a lot. Hugs.
Thank you, Chedva!
This might just be my favourite post to date
You’ve inspired me. I would like to write my own list! While I love blogging, I hate that it makes me feel like I have to be perfect here and there. Oh the things that I sometimes place importance on!
Thank you for sharing.
You’re welcome, and I can’t wait to read your list, Jacquelyn!!!
What a beautiful post, Erin. Today is a good day in the blogosphere, for sure. Thanks for sharing yourself so generously!
My God, Erin. I have not yet read all the previous comments, but I am confident that I am not the first to tell you that you are a true inspiration — a lovely, kind, generous, creative, beautiful and smart woman. And that I feel exactly the same way. Fear and anxiety abound within us all, I think. Thanks for having the courage to admit it to the world. Consider me officially on board. Xoxo.
Thank you, sweet ladies. :) I love you each and all!
I completely agree- this campaign is making me fall in love with bloggers again. I understand that ultimately people want to see the successful/beautiful/perfect things, but it does give me anxiety all the time that I will never be that “perfect.” I always feel a little disheveled and cant balance family + friends + work + husband + dog + personal wellness, and wonder if I am the only one that cant figure it out. This campaign has re-instilled my empathy for others, and I find it so intriguing the spectrum of “things that im afraid to tell you” . WELL DONE! and dont stop here! Id love to hear, maybe on a weekly basis, some of the works in progress, or mistakes. P.S. – I NEVER comment on blogs, but this really struck a chord, and obviously I am super passionate about how personal and real this feels – thank you :)
Oh- I’d love to share what I am afraid to tell you too- it seems very libirating:
– I love fashion, and am in the industry, but I know and fear that I will never be skinny enough to wear the things I truly love.
– I think that I want kids, but I am so afraid of giving birth and raising a human being that I dont know if I will ever have the guts to take the leap.
Phew- feels good :)
Thanks for sharing! It’s actually pretty comforting to hear these things from you because I can relate to several of your confessions. I visit this site frequently for ideas, inspiration, and a pick me up when I’m feeling down, but never really imagined you to be dealing with your own insecurities. The idea that you’re managing your own self-doubts while leading a brilliant professional life is just as inspiring as the art and design images you post here.
@Allison – OMG you are so brave to share those things! And can I just say that my style icon (my grandmother!) is a size 12? She’s as beautiful as anyone I know (probably more beautiful) and pulls off the craziest ensembles. Such an inspiration!
As far as giving birth/having kids, ha… I’ll let you know how it goes. ;)
@Caitlin – Oh that is so nice to hear, Caitlin – thank you! What a support you are!
Erin, you’re the best. We are more alike than I realized.
Love to you and little bebe.
Steph
@Stephanie – We are indeed. ;)
oh i just love you, darling thing.
I love you back, sweet Kimberly. :)
Great post. I always love when the bits of Erin I’ve seen in real life are allowed to peek through.
Erin, thank you so much for all your honesty. It really helps. I’m new to all this and I keep comparing myself to the blog world. I think this is an amazing campaign. You are wonderful just the way you are.
P.S. I need to get to my toilet too.
Okay Erin, I’m not sure where to start except I am SO glad I picked today to catch up on your blog. Big virtual hug, and bigger props for taking a deep breath, gathering your courage and sharing this…thank you!! And my toilet hasn’t been cleaned for awhile either. xxxxoooo
I love these posts so much…it goes to show that we bloggers are all perfectly NORMAL human beings with flaws just like everyone else. My list would look a lot like yours and I find myself feeling the same way many times when I become too engrossed in my virtual life. Sometimes it’s just nice to take a step back and live REAL life, the you see all the beauty that surrounds you that isn’t material. Bravo!
Now I love your blog even more! <3 You are great!
Thank you so much (again!), everyone! You’ve all been so uplifting!
Thank you for #1 and #3. It’s good to hear I’m not the only one feeling that way!!!
Goodness, such bravery! I feel that it’s only fair to tell you that I have terrible penmanship, an incredibly messy desk, & a tendency to waffle between loving the things I create & fearing that they are too quirky to appeal to anyone else.
P.S. Your writing skills really shine in your occasional personal posts.. just sayin :)
I can relate to so many of these! PS. I think you are even more perfect now that you shared, then before. ;)
I love this, and I’m loving reading everyone else’s posts as well. In the end, we’re all just people, huh? The same struggles and little monsters get to us all. Cheers to you, and to all the honest folks out there. xoxo
So brave! Know that you are not alone and many including myself feel the same doubts and more daily.
Speaking to point #3 I paraphrase from a Ted Talk video…but Paula Scher a well known graphic designer says: “The best way to accomplish serious design … is to be totally and completely unqualified for the job.” The next time you feel unqualified or nervous about starting your own line, know that greatness may come from your feeling of naivete.
Good luck to you, thanks for the bravery and honesty.
Oh my goodness; you ladies are too much. I just love you all! Am I allowed to say that on the internet? :)
Oh Erin you are lovely! I echo the thoughts of those comments above and please know you inspire me everyday when i think “what would Erin do?” Life’s to short to clean toilets anyways.
I can’t wait to see your design range
xoxo
Erin, thank you for responding to my comment. I have contributed to the movement now. I’m scared, I admit it. I shared really scary things. Here we go world!
Jess
There is only one perfect way to be in the world, and that one way is “authentic.” Here, you are that. xo
I only had time to read one blog post today, & I’m so glad it was yours. You are one of the most absolutely genuine people in the blogosphere, & the one I would most like to hug, should we ever meet. :) Yay, for imperfection! It makes delights of us all!
we are the same person, it’s so nice to know that i’m not the only one that feels/things these ways
What a great post Erin, I love it! I agree with everyone else on here, sometimes the internet can be so isolating – make you feel like everyone else has it SO together, while you just don’t – I feel like that all the time. It’s liberating to hear someone as successful as you also has insecurities – if only I could get the guts to make a post like this!
I’m loving all of these posts and have even shared my own. I think it’s funny that we are opposite. I am crafty and wish I could be stylish enough to do design – I’m just clueless. When I decorated my boyfriend’s apartment, it was basically taking full floor displays from Pier1. I have no idea how to put things together on my own
Oh Erin, you could not be more sweet. Despite everything that you feel are downfalls, your loveliness makes up for them all in spades.
Love your post! If you make your own clothing line, I will definitely go broke, because I will buy it all.
Erin-tastic! This is why I loved meeting you so much cause we got to talk about REAL stuff and it made me love you even more, and now I love you even EVEN more, if that’s possible :) You sure look good all opened up like this. You’re one amazing lady!
Beautiful post, is very refreshing, thank you so much for your honesty. Big hug!.
Wonderful. We really are all so much alike.
Wow…okay. Thing I am afraid to tell you: I have stopped by your blog off an on for probably two years now, and never made it a really regular read b/c every time I dropped by I thought “too perfect–can’t relate.” After this post, though? YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND. I mean, you are beautiful, your designs are beautiful, your eye is beautiful, but sharing these insecurities just makes you the kind of perfect I can relate to.
I’m loving the synchronicity of this! Last month I shared some personal truths along with some photographic self portraits on my blog. It isn’t easy to show your vulnerable side but I have been amazed and humbled by the responses to my sharing!
http://artoftracyverdugo.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/this-is-me.html
OK, at this point I’m crying. Thank you so much for your endless words of support, ladies. Gosh — I feel so lucky. Let’s make it an effort to showcase the real sides of ourselves, yes? What does that look like? How do we balance inspiration with realism?
Thank you for a fabulous, refreshing, honest and lovely post. Voicing these inner fears shows your true strength. –Carolyn
i am loving this campaign, movement, what have you… it makes me look at you {and all of the other bloggers participating} in a whole new, refreshing light! cheers to your honesty and bravery!
What a brave & wonderful post, Erin! It is strangely comforting to find out someone you admire for her talents also struggles with some of the same things you do. Not in a ” misery loves company” kind of way, but more because people just love real people, I guess. :). Thanks for sharing!
Oh Erin, this was so wonderful and brave of you! Please know that because of you, thousands of us out here are breathing a sigh of relief. I hate that I get pangs of jealousy when I see all of the blogs that I admire put together gorgeous post after gorgeous post, while I feel that I’m not really getting anywhere with mine. It’s so refreshing to be reminded that you are all real people too, and it’s most likely not easy for anyone like I perceive it to be. You were a major inspiration to me for years before I decided to start my own blog – and I thank you for that beyond belief. Although my blog is still small, it is extremely rewarding to me and I look forward to making it grow and to make new friends with all of the amazing people in the blogging community. You have accomplished so much and have inspired so many people – way to go! Virtual hug my darling! xoxo
Ah, you are all so uplifting! Thank you for your kind words, and I’m so happy to hear so much honesty coming from every corner of the web. Let’s keep it up, yes?
Bravo Erin! You were my first introduction to this series, and what a great job everyone has been doing…I’m inspired to create my own now too :) I can relate to a lot of what you had to said, and it’s so nice to know that we’re all in this together, and that sharing this can be very cathartic. ((((((())))))) <—big internet hugs!!
Ah, thank you Kelsey!!! I agree; everyone has been doing SUCH a great job. It really is an inspiring movement indeed!
I just finished having a bedtime chat with my 6 year old daughter about how “nobody is perfect” and she was shocked…then continued to go down the list of each of our family members asking if each one was perfect or not. And, no, none of us are, surprise surprise :) Felt so great to read your post after that little talk. I read Ez’s earlier today and felt that same sense of relief knowing that, no matter what our status or stage of life, we’re all in the same boat and just trying to make the best life possible out of what we’ve been given. I’ve had the same sticky note stuck to my computer for a year and a half, listing “patience, gratitude, and be satisfied with less” yet each is a daily struggle for me. Despite our insecurities and daily failures, the best we can do is wake up and try even harder the next day, right? Cheers to keeping it real and thanks for the beautiful post :)
Erin, I love that you wonderful gals are doing this. I can relate to so much. And being a mom seems to bring on oh so many more realizations of inadequacy. But I love that we are all human and beautiful in our imperfections. Like so many have mentioned, Erin I love you (and your blog) even more for you willingness to lets us in.
xo
Mer
Thank you, sweet ladies!
Thank you. So helpful to hear people talk about being afraid… doesn’t really matter what afraid of… just that we share that vulnerable little piece of ourselves.
I loved reading this, its really great to see people putting themselves out their a little and seeing the community come together. Great post.
Definitely start the clothing line if it feels like the right thing to do, I wrote a post recently about how I’m more terrified of my abilities but I think if perhaps all of us really push ourselves to do that one thing we’re terrified of, the results could be amazing! :) have a great day.
Hi Erin, I can definately relate to most of these points that you’ve written. Im in my early 20s, and a few years a go I had a really bad accident. It’s taken me three years to get to how I am now – very nearly fully recovered thanks to my determination and my close friends and family never giving up on me. Because of this I couldn’t go to uni, and my confidence in my self was completely lost. Ive decided to follow a career that I wanted to at the beginning, interior design. But like you I am terrified that I will do it wrong, and nobody will like anything I design! I always always question myself and I’m very very easily offended with what people say to me. But I just tell myself, if you don’t try you will never know and if it doesn’t work move on. At least your never left thinking ‘what if?’. So I would like to say a million thankyou’s to you for sharing this with everyone, I alone feel so much better that I’m not alone in my nervousness! You are wonderful, and I sure you do well with whatever you want to do next, and I wish you the very best of luck!x
@Sarah I’m so sorry to hear of your accident, but at the same time, I am SO happy to hear of your positive attitude. Go get em, tiger! Definitely follow those dreams.
I think this campaign is truly amazing! Your’s is the first set of ‘Things I’m Afraid To Tell You’ and I can relate to many of the points you’ve listed. I feel better too :) Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for being real and genuine; that just adds to your charm and loveliness.
Wow, thank you for this post! It’s like you read my mind. I guess it means that none of us are nearly as unique in our insecurities (and trouble with housework) as we thought. We ALL struggle with ALL of these issues.
As for me, I have always struggled with feeling ‘average’. I once asked a close friend and fiance what my talents are and they looked at me blank faced and then my fiance said, “you’re practical”. PRACTICAL??! Does that even constitute a talent? lol. I know I have talents but it’s sometimes hard to see them.
Thanks for this :)
@Rachel – Ha, practical! That’s such an odd description, and I’m quite sure there are millions of better ones to describe you. It’s true – some of our talents are pretty far below the surface (and sometimes we push them farther!); let’s dig deep and try to give them some sunlight every now and then. ;)
Ohhh, this warmed my heart right up! I (silently) shouted “ME TOO!” at a few items on your list. I’ve always loved seeing your posts (and I love Minikind too), but now I feel deeply inspired by you as a person! I’ll never look at this blog the same again. Thank you!
Wow… I just stumbled on this movement and I am all in! I can’t wait to bare my soul to the world too, lol! I just wanted to say that I am right with you there on numbers 5, 6 & 8. Thanks for sharing, and God Bless!
Now I know why I was meant to stay home this morning! Such a heartfelt, beautiful post. None of us sees ourselves the way others do, whether that is good or bad. I see you as a unique, beautiful, confident, young woman, who is paving the road to help others find their own beauty. Most importantly, you have been brave enough (this takes confidence for sure!) to express your own inner voice, which some are never able to do.
I’ve loved seeing this here and on other blogs. I think it all boils down to ‘us’ as in ‘everyone’ are all more alike than one might have thought. Life isn’t perfect, we all have our struggles with different things. Thanks for sharing your story Erin. You inspire me!
Hugs Erin! I love this series of posts and I love EZ for starting it. Even though I know nobody’s life is a shiny as it seems online (and I’m guilty of glossing over the ugly bits too) I am so relieved to have an out loud reminder.
You are all so smashing! It also feels great to know I’m not alone in my own list — thank you for that, friends. Let’s enjoy a lovely weekend now – I’m sure a few of us are feeling much lighter! :)
Erin, I’d regularly read your blog years ago and one of the secrets I’ll admit to is that I stopped reading it (and many other beautiful blogs, too) because I was doing that thing that so many ladies who blog have come clean about in these posts – I was constantly comparing myself to the designers you featured and always finding that my designs were coming up short. I had to cut myself off for a while. I was glad that a friend of mine posted something about this “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” project because it led me back here to your blog, which I’d loved for so long. I think I’m ready to visit regularly again, to get over the comparisons, to find inspiration here instead of the criticism I brought on myself. Thank you for your honesty, and thanks for the beautiful things you’ve introduced me to here.
@Sulu what a beautiful, beautiful thought. I don’t blame you a bit – there are many people I have unfollowed on Twitter b/c the “inspiration” turned into “aspiration” and I was left feeling a bit empty and useless. It’s a fine line, and I definitely hope we can figure out a better balance along the way. I’m sure we can! :)
Nice to meet you erin. You are an inspiration!
Wow, Erin! Thank you for sharing such personal detail about what goes on behind the scenes. I am late to the blogging game and get bogged down seeing all the beauty and success around me! It’s nice to step back and realize that we are not alone.
I have to say that you are so very talented. I don’t know you. We’ve never met and I dont’ know if we ever will. (Don’t want to close the door on that dream!) I have been wanting to take your Alt class for months, but the stars haven’t aligned for me yet. I know there are so many people out there that love what you do. I hope that you find the time you need to accomplish the things you want. You’re amazing!
xo,
Lexy
Oh Lexy, you are so kind! We will meet someday; I’m sure of it!
e.
I sometimes feel that being too real on my blog will deter readers but as i click around blogland i see that being me is what differenciates me from the rest, and after all, I started my blog with me in mind..I have read posts where the author criticizes these, let’s call them: self-centered posts, I think those authors should consider joining this group and break open their glass cage and take a step into their own personal reality, accepting you’ve got a life that’s affected by the world we live in makes everything else even more enjoyable, we need to take a breather from talking about others sayings and doings and let our own hearts have a chance at dictating today’s blog post…thank you Erin, as I’ve told you before, the fact that you answer back to your reader’s comments says a lot about you, so see the lovely in you that we, your readers, see..there’s a lot of it…take care, big hug Alexandra
Ah, thank you Alexandra — I completely agree; you are what makes your blog original and unique. Keep sharing from the heart!
hey you all! i definitely understand all the feelings u ¨ve expresed, and i was just thinking about it this days. i mean, i think we ve all got so excited about some ideas/mottos/slogans, we¨ve demanded and expected the same from ourselves; being some huge sports-clothing-brand-slongan the one im talking about.
i guess we ve all got so hung up in the endless possibilities that web and connection brought (and to some other things), that we ve kind of have lost perspective? and we keep compariring ourselves to what we would want//to the best//to others/to the endless possibilities of nothing being impossible”” to the maximun of possibilities-even more if u know how the universe works”-
i kind of thought that myself, this passing days. how we can lead simple wonderful profund meaningful lives if we got depressed out of what we feeel we are lackin? then again, as much as i personally have a thing for albert (dear einstein in my mind) and LDvinci, maybe society, designer and creative people all around just got obsessed with genius.type of mentalities…and even when im perfectly content with my -thank the lord!- gifts” and talents, i secretaly wish for many more …
im sorry if i didnt make much sense,-or the spelling…- as typing this in the second language” i found it more and more difficult to explain.but we hear u E, dont feel alone.u never are :) xo
Paula:
Ha, my father looks like Einstein, so I have a soft spot for old Albert as well. ;) Thank you for sharing, my dear!
I love this movement Ez has created. I relate a lot to “creating catastrophes” and I like to think that is not because I’m a negative person, I think it’s more due to the fact that I know how infinitesimal our lives are so I’m constantly aware that things can go wrong any second. I often feel scared when everything in my life is ok, you know, just health, personal, and financial wise, I’m kind of always expecting something bad to happen. Thanks for sharing, you’re truly an inspiring person!
@Gaby – Ha, I have those feelings, too! I’m a relatively anxious person, so I have to constantly remind myself to keep my head and body busy so they can work together on distracting the crazy. :)
Fear…I think it drives most of us.
Fabulous post Erin. xx
Erin I have been a huge fan of yours for quite a while now and to read this post where you are so candid and open has done nothing but raise my level of respect for you even more.[I didn’t actually know that was possible]. Thank you for taking up the challenge and for being brave enough to share these with us! It has amazed me how much we all seem to feel the same. How much we have in common and how universal these feels and fears seem to be.
I have written my own response to these posts. You can read it here if you like: http://www.amandafullerblog.com/2012/05/things-im-afraid-to-tell-you.html
I share many of your insecurities and found it very brave of you to share them with all of us. As women we definitely judge ourselves too harshly and require much of ourselves. My mother told me once when I was commenting about how perfect a friends house seems that everyone puts their pants on one foot at a time (translation–eveyone is human) with their own frailities and concerns. I try to remember and sometimes even picture that (it is so much fun to picture George Clooney putting his pants on!) when I am feeling less than perfect. With impending motherhood you will find many of those personal insecurities go away as that little one loves you whether the toilets are cleaned or not. Thanks so much for sharing so much.
@Diane – I LOVE that saying! It definitely helps put things in perspective for sure. Thanks for sharing, Diane!
@Amanda – Just hopped over to your blog and commented. Your second confession really hit home for me!
Erin,
Read every word and loved hearing more about you. So thankful to you, EZ, Nichole, and Jess for spearheading this fantastic idea. I think its important to be reminded we all have struggles in our own way, and behind all the pretty we are flawed sometimes….but you know, it makes each person more beautiful when they seem more real:) Thanks for sharing this!
Anna
Love this post so much!!! Your honesty hits all of us and in the day and age of blogs/social media it’s so easy to compare ourselves and feel worn out from it.
Love this Erin! Thanks so much for being brave and sharing this post with all of us! :) Gotta say I live with a lot of the same things and it’s nice to hear that I’m not the only one who feels insecure, lacks craftiness, and who doesn’t clean her toilets on a regular basis!
You are so wonderful Erin!!! I am so thankful our paths crossed. xoxo
-p.s. your fashion line would be smashing. do it now!
Ahhh thank you sweet gals. You are too good to be true. :)
this is amazing. and i identify with many of your points (hey, #5!). my blog is so new and i started it out a month ago with a painfully honest post, but i may reference this idea for a future update because i think it’s healthy & important. like, i took such a deep breath after reading this.
this is so beautiful. i am right there with you and all your commenters. especially number 5. its so easy to forget that all the pretty things we read and gush about online.. have more to the story. thank you for being brave and honest with your sharing. its really helpful and heartening :))
thank you. it’s a breath of fresh air. twice in the last week i have been asked to share more on my blog. I think there is a lot more to the art of sharing without feeling like you are giving something away. Making the blog and yourself more rather than less…Do the line … you are ready
Thank you again, sweet friends – and yes! I am absolutely going to tackle that clothing/product line someday!
This is so refreshing to read! Not because I take pleasure in your insecurities or fears, but because reading about yours makes me feel better about my own. I’ve been sensing, for a while now, that the blog world is adverse to talking about or revealing failure. It is certainly helpful to read about someone finding success with a handmade business through social media, etc. This is what gives you the will to keep going through the bad times. But when those bad times seems to go on longer than expected or nothing seems to be working out or the success you read about on blogs is not happening, it’s even better to know that others have experienced and overcome those times. Thank you so much for keeping it real!
Oh you are all such dears! Thank you, friends!
number one on your list is exaaactly how i feel. and i am very similar to number 3 as well. thanks for being real, erin. =)
ERIN!!!!!!!!! Congratulations. Authenticity is STRONG and BRAVE and TRUE. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you!
you all so right.
I can recognize me self in so many of your words.
Feel better, not to be alone!
Have a nice day, erin.
Thank you, dear!
hearing those things about you makes you seem more real and all the more awesome.
Thank you sweet Debbie. :)
funny the insecurities we all share but find so hard to talk about even to our nearest and dearest – but writing it down always helps refocus our thoughts and make them much more rational – so keep believing :)
oh god. love this. love you. never been to your blog before but this is fecking fantastic. relate so much. thank you.
Thank you, friends. :)
oh god. love this. love you. never been to your blog before but this is fecking fantastic. thank you.
This is my 1st time to your blog and I haven’t looked around yet fore this is the 1st post that I read. I located you from Apartment 34. In any event this was beautiful. It’s so thrilling to see sincerity surface. I feel as if we live in a time of grave superficiality and a lot of us live with grave insecurities because of it but in some ways perpetuate the cycle of superficiality. However when moments like this abound that allows us all to get back in touch with the humanity at our core and the truth of our spirit, then there is undefinable beauty and great growth. I appreciate you for opening up and sharing. and because of this post and this post alone I am now a faithful reader of your blog. thanx again.
xo
Darling Bonnie
thehouseofdarling.blogspot.com
oh thank you so much, darling bonnie! so nice to e-meet you! :)
you are so magically YOU!
For years I’ve pranced around your blog and saw photographic perfection, yet there was still such a transparency that you conveyed that kept me coming back and in a sense developing trust. Which is rare in the blog world today.
i can say that, since meeting you, that still stands true.
Keep beaming!
-Kel
Oh you are the sweetest thing, Kel! Thank you!
I found my way here from Creature Comforts and am delighted and inspired to read your honesty. Thank you for being who you are! Lovely!
Jesska
I think you are awesome. I’ve been following your blog forever it seems. In faact it was one of the first blogs I ever visited and reading this reminds me of why I always liked you so much. Such honesty here…it’s so refreshing. x
Thank you so much all! :)
PS–my info wasn’t saved for my comment just above:) but I had to let you know that it was me. x
I stumbled across your blog while having my morning espresso. THIS is a fantastic post. I can relate to your #2 and #5. I find it both brave and kind that you have shared these feelings/ thoughts with the world. You are certainly going int my reading list!
Thank you so much, Jamie!
i completely heard my own voice when reading your list + can totally empathize where you’re coming from – thanks for posting!
Awesome post! Found you through creature comforts. Love the authenticity. We definitely need more of that in blogland! Maybe I’ll get around to doing a post like this. I always hesiate to share things that my readers may not really be interested in…and try to stick to design… but this is making me think… as I know I like reading this stuff.
These are things I feel everyday. I liked reading this because it gave me a sense that I am not the only one! Chin up! You’re great! :) I know this is an older post but I found your blog yesterday and I have not stopped looking at it… It’s great and inspiring!
thank you so much, kendra!
I am number 5. Seriously. Reading my way through the TIATTY blogs; its just so wonderful to read the deeper voices in someone else’s head. It reminds me that were actually all the same. Flaws and dreams and all.
Amen!
This is such a great post! Thank you so much!
I want to know the reason why you called this particular article, “things i’m afraid to tell you: confessions from a blogger | Design For Mankind”. Regardless I admired the post!Many thanks,Sherlene
This was brilliant, refreshing and inspiring. I’m afraid to tell you that I secretly love reading about others’ sentiments about their insecurities. It reminds me that mine are alive and well and occasionally endearing to myself because it’s what humanizes all our “crazy”. I say the design of mankind was flawed to perfection, and I’m sticking to it. Thank you for your post! xo
@Vida – Thank you, sweet Vida!
This is my first time on your site and I want to tell you what an inspiration you are. I admire how you shared all of your fears. More amazing than that is how you are not held back by your fears and are motivated to
Thank you so much, Sarah!
This is my first time on your site and I want to tell you what an inspiration you are. I admire how you shared all of your fears. More amazing than that is how you are not held back by your fears and are motivated to live your dreams.
Starting from now on you will be one of my inspiration and I will always visit your blog, I love it and I can relate to your feelings too. Keep it up. Godbless you.
@Kris – Thank you – that is so kind!
I like you and I like your blog!
I seriously LOVED EVERY SINGLE WORD (I screamed that, LOL) in this post ! WooopWhoop for you. Fantastic job. I am totally feeling inspired to write a similar post on my blog … filled with fears. Thanks for the INSPIRATION !!!! Lynne
Ah, thank you Lynne! Can’t wait to read your post! :)
Good answers in return of this difficulty with firm arguments
and explaining everything on the topic of that.
Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m having a difficult time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S Apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!
You really touched a cord in my heart! I have been having the same mixed feelings about what to write and how much to write and its sooo hard to know just how much to reveal, so I read this post with the utmost interest and I can relate to so many things you wrote about. I am going through a rough patch with my son who was born with Prune Belly Syndrome in February and really want to write about all the things we have been going through but haven’t because, I too, am afraid. I live on a small island and fear people would be judgmental and also that I would inevitably meet a lot of the people who would be reading the blog… so where do I draw the line on how much of this personal matter to write about and would my son dislike people knowing about his condition… i am confused but feel good that I am not the only one. Thank you!
Ah, I hope you sort out your feelings soon. From my experience, just asking these questions and letting your thoughts simmer will eventually lead you to the right decision! Hang in there!
Oh wow. Well… here I am coming across this post a year or so later, and it still is so poignant. So Thank you, as I too… sorta new to the “scene” but still frantically trying to “brand” myself- my online identity if you will- while trying to remain true and authentic, juggle mommyhood and life- and all those all those same feelings -all too familiar- creep up on me as well… Thanks for being brave and saying it “out loud” so the collective we don’t feel alone in those feelings. Real talk.
Very best to you, and know that you are truly inspiring, even in those very moments of doubt.
Be well,
Kiana
Thank you sweet Kiana – this is such a kind note to receive! Hugs to you,
e.
I stumbled on your site while looking for ideas for a white shoes project and then to here. Your list is almost exactly how I feel, too! (Minus blogging. I don’t do much of that.) Especially 1, 3, 5, 6, 8… Boiling down to a lack of confidence and feeling terribly average/mediocre with a simultaneous desire to be creative/productive. A great big hug to you for this reminder that sources of inspiration like yourself also experience vulnerability, and a hope that we all can wallow a bit less with that in mind.
Erin: I stumbled upon your blog after looking for a picture of Amanda Talbots book Rethink: and then found myself drawn to your other posts..THEN I found this one.. thank you for your honesty and confirming the very question I have had. How much do I share?.. I recently started up my blog again! (wanting to properly to commit to it this time with an intention) and after reading your post, you have moved me and given me reason to not let my fears hold me back but be open enough to share and connect.
Awwww thank you, Elaine! Congrats on a new season of blogging for you! :)
Hi Erin,
I don’t read your blog often but your latest posts about slow blogging and sharing your secrets were just what the doctor ordered. Like you, I’ve been pulling back from the busy, twirling world of social media, fashion blogs, perfectly curated living rooms and staged family portraits.
Your slow blogging post lifted a great, creative weight off of my shoulders and I’m more confident in my decision to post once a week but with more intention and care.
Nice to know others feel the same way!
Malorie
Ah, thank you Malorie!!! I’m right there with you. :) And your site is beautiful!
Hi friend. I just happened upon this post…. and just wanted to tell you how much I love you and love your authenticity here. “We’re all in this together”, right?! ;) Have a wonderful day!
Ah, right back atcha, Deanna – thank you for the encouragement!